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Showing posts from August 19, 2010

All I Want Is Forever Love

All I want is forever love,
Love that lasts,
Love that grows,
Love that isn’t afraid,
Afraid of anything,
Doesn’t worry,
Doesn’t try to over analyze,
Just believe,
Just trust,
Just jump,
Life is always changing,
The world is always changing,
Nothing is promised,
Nothing is guaranteed,
But perhaps if you just hold onto me,
Hold onto my hand,
We will get through it,
We will get through it all,
All I want is forever love,
Something that is wonderful,
Something that is beautiful,
Something that everyone can see,
Want people to just look and know,
Just look and know that there is love,
Something that deepens,
Something that strengths,
Every single day,
Something that just is,
Something that doesn’t need to be explained,
Or necessarily make sense to anyone else,
All I want is forever love,
Love with you my dear,
You mean so much to me,
So much that words cannot fully say,
These emotions are so strong and true,
It keeps on growing,
Keeps on expanding,
All I want is to be with you,
I know that nothing can be fully promised,
Or gua…

The Call

Another older Ryan poem.

Two years ago
I received a call.
A call that would change
My life
As well as my best friend's
FOREVER.

It was just another day.
I wasn't prepared
For that call.
The phone rang
And the voice on the other end
Made me want to cry.

I didn't want to believe him
But I know it had to be true
He wanted to tell her
But I said I should.

So, I picked up the phone
And dialed her number
By memory
And when she answered the phone
I told her to sit down.
I uttered three words
That had changed my life
And would her's.
I told her "Janelle, Ryan's died."

She accused me of lying
And she started crying
And I knew I couldn't hold my tears any longer.
Just one phone call.
It was only one phone call.
And it changed my life forever.

Now it has been two years
Since he died
For the call came
Two days after he died.
Two days too late.
Too late to tell him
How I cared
How I was his friend
How he was loved.

That call changed everything
And for that I will never
Be the same.

October 9th, 1997

I remember that day
That moment
The call that changed
My world.
The voice on the
Other line.
The coldness in it.
How I told it
I should tell her.
How I tried
To hold back the tears.
The wishing I had known
SOONER.
The wanting to turn back
The time to change things.
Calling my best friend
Telling her to sit down
And how I tried to stay calm
Until I told her.
How she thought I was joking
And how she realized I wasn't.
How it was the hardest
Thing to say to her.
It was hard to say.
It has been two years
And it is still hard for me.
My friend Ryan Long
Had committed suicide
On October 9th, 1997.

Wearing My Heart On My Sleeve

I wear my heart on my sleeve,
I show my emotions every single day,
I don’t let a moment pass me by,
I don’t let a day go by,
That I don’t express myself,
That I don’t find a way,
Through something verbal,
Through something non verbal,
Through words on the page,
I want to keep on touching hearts,
I want to keep helping hope stay alive,
Don’t ask why I am like this,
I couldn’t tell you if I tried,
I am who I am,
I am the person who loves,
Loves fully,
Loves hard,
Loves with everything in my power,
I want the world to know,
I am willing to scream,
I am willing to shoot,
If I can help someone know,
If I can help someone get through that day,
Then I know it is worth it,
I might wear my heart on my sleeve,
I might show my emotions through many means,
But that doesn’t mean it was always easy,
Doesn’t mean it wasn’t a challenge,
So, although I make it look easy,
And although I express myself well,
It took me time,
It took me years,
It took me knowing my own strength,
And putting it out there in that big huge world,
So, my dar…