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Showing posts from 2008

My New Years Wish

As the new year approaches,
All my thoughts turn to you,
All my dreams are filled with you,
All I want is you,
You are everything I need,
You are everything I want,
You are what I want for Christmas every year,
You are who I want to kiss on new years eve,
As the year turns into a new one,
You are the one I want to walk down the aisle to,
You are the one that I want to make a vow to,
After all I have been through these years,
Of all the bad relationships I went through,
Were my heart was torn and hurt,
Were I had to pick up the pieces of not only my heart,
But pieces of my life,
I have found through you something to believe in,
Something to truly smile about,
Whenever I talk to you I feel my whole heart light up,
I feel my face light up,
I feel my very soul brigthen,
I feel everything just liven up in my life,
As the new year approaches,
There is only one thing that could complete,
Everything I feel in my heart,
Everything I feel in my soul,
Everything I feel in my dreams,
And that is for you to be here,
As the c…

My Christmas Wish

My Christmas wish is simply this,
I just want to have you home with me,
I do not care about the fact that the tree is bare,
And that there is no presents,
All I want is the love you have in your heart,
And the love you have in your soul,
I just want to feel you in my arms,
I just want to lose control,
I just want to kiss you,
I just want to rub you everywhere,
You are all that matters to me,
There is nothing else that comes even close,
My Christmas wish is simply this,
I just wish I was with you and not without you,
I just wish to be holding you and not alone,
I just want to hold you close to me,
And be able to just look into your eyes,
My Christmas wish is simply this,
I wish that we weren’t thousands of miles away,
I wish that we were closer so I could see you,
So I could hold you,
So I could show you all the emotions in my heart,
So I could just be with you,
My Christmas wish is simply this,
I just want to have you here inside of my arms,
I just want to hold you close,
I just want to hear I love you in pers…

Our Bond

When we met online we were first two strangers,
But I felt a connection with you right away,
From the very first message,
To the very first conversation online,
To the very first time I heard your voice,
I knew that when we will meet in person,
Our bond will be very strong,
That just one kiss,
Just one touch,
Will send desire down through my whole body,
There will be never ending passion,
And there is so much love,
People might think we are crazy,
And perhaps we are,
But I know without a single doubt
That this is meant to be,
We are meant to be together,
They will see,
We will prove to everyone,
That despite the way we meet,
Or how soon we knew,
That we are in love,
And nothing is going to break us apart,
Nothing,
Because this is a love meant to be,
This is true love,
This is what soul mates are,
And I knew from the first moment,
Despite not knowing you well,
That we had a connection,
And I knew it from the first conversation,
That we have a bond,
That is very strong,
That will never be broken by anything.

Two Hearts Intertwained As One

Every moment that ticks by,
Every second that goes by,
I feel the love I have for you my darling,
It is something that is so amazing,
Knowing that I am truly someone’s sweetheart,
Knowing that I am your beloved,
Knowing that you believe I am more than just adorable,
That you see me as someone so beautiful,
That you see me as someone who is sexy,
Makes my heart melt all over again,
Makes my heart sing of the romance that is between us,
With every passionate thought,
With every passionate kiss,
With every passionate dream,
I know that this is the most amazing thing in my life,
I never knew that a simple I love you,
Could be the most romantic thing spoken,
Could mean more than any other words,
Especially when it is spoken,
Especially when it is told,
Especially when you are the one,
That speaks those words,
Every moment that ticks by,
Every second that goes by,
I feel that love that you have for me my darling,
I feel that love that I have for you my darling,
It is something that is so amazing,
Yet so simple and pu…

Melt Into You

If I were a snowflake, I think I’d melt into your lips,
Gently caressing them to feel them,
Gently letting me melt into you fully,
I would take every single moment,
I would take every single second,
I would take every possible time I could,
Just to taste your kisses,
If I were a snowflake, I think I’d melt into your heart,
Snuggle into it nice and warm,
Hold onto the good portions,
Heal the bad portions,
Make sure you see the love I have for you,
Make sure you know that this is forever,
Make sure you know that I love you always,
Make sure you know that nothing will take me away form you,
If I were a snowflake, I think I’d melt into your soul,
Molding into it like a second skin,
Molding into it until all there is, is us,
Fall into it with no hesitations,
Giving you every single reason to believe in love,
Giving you every single reason to remember love,
Giving you every single thought of love,
If I were a snowflake, I think I’d melt into your body,
Feeling every inch of your skin,
Feeling every inch of your de…

Spending Time With You

When I spend time with you everything else doesn’t matter,
When I hold you into my arms it is the only place I want to be,
When I dream of you at night it is the only thing that seems to matter,
You are in my mind,
You are in my soul,
You are in my dreams,
No matter what it is,
The moments I spend mean the world to me,
I don’t care if it is just a few moments on the phone,
I don’t care if it is a conversation online,
All that I care about is holding you in my heart,
All that I care is that you are mine,
All that I care is that I am yours,
That this is an us,
That we are together forever,
When I spend time with you rather it’s talking about,
Our biggest dreams,
Our deepest fears,
Or just talking about anything,
All that matters is this,
This love that we have,
The love that the stars have seemed to align for,
The love that is in both of our hearts,
We are meant to be together,
Through the hardships that have happened,
We are the bright sun in each others lives,
When you tell me you love me,
And when I tell you t…

Gazing Into Your Eyes

When I gaze into your eyes I know that everything else fades away,
I know that love is within those eyes,
I know that my life is reflected into those eyes,
I know that all my fears leave when looking into those eyes,
I know that everything that hurt me before disappears,
I know that a lifetime of dreams are in those eyes,
I know that thre is something that cannot be fully explained,
When I gaze into your eyes I see the beauty of dreams,
I see the love that has been waiting for me,
I see the love that is promised to me,
I see the love that you have,
It only becomes stronger,
Nothing can change what it is,
Nothing can tear us apart,
When I gaze into your eyes I see myself,
And the love I have for you reflect,
And the dreams I have of us reflect,
And the moments of bliss reflect,
And I know that this is love,
That this is the love of a lifetime,
That this is a love of fairy tales,
That this is a love worth holding onto,
Although the distance is hard,
And the miles are many,
You are in my heart,
You are in my sou…

You Are The Best Gift

It is the winter season where you can see,
The snow falling around you,
There is a soft peace that feels your thoughts,
And as I watch the snow fall I just think of your warm embrace,
Wishing with all my heart that you were here,
So you could softly kiss me,
And hold me to your heart,
But instead I am here wishing for you,
Wishing to with you,
Quietly these thoughts fill my mind,
I know that we are one in our hearts,
That when you told me you loved me,
I knew it was heartfelt and true,
As the snow falls around me,
All I wish is for one thing,
All I wish is for you my dear,
You are the answer to many thoughts,
You are the answer to many dreams,
You are the answer to everything,
It is the winter season,
A time when there is cold and snow,
Where one wishes to be wrapped up with someone,
But my someone is so far away,
He’s miles away from me,
But I feel his heart beat,
I feel his heart beat with mine,
I feel him near me no matter what,
He is the reason I am so inspired again,
He is the reason why I believe again,
He …

Your Smile

Your smile makes me think of the truest rainbows,
Of sunshine days,
Of love without broken hearts,
Of dreams unbroken,
Of memories bittersweet,
Your smile makes me think of those moments,
The ones of happiness not sadness,
The ones of dreams still remembered and not washed away,
So many times I wanted to give up,
So many times I just wanted to throw it all away,
So many times I was ready to just say no more,
But than with your smile you melt all those defenses,
Leaving me with no choice but to fall into your arms,
You give me something my darling,
Something that has been lost for so long,
Something I thought was well gone,
Your smile makes me think of a future with you in it,
Makes me wish again for the romance,
Makes me want you in my life,
I just want to hold you,
I just want to kiss you,
I just want to be,
Be in your arms,
You are the one my heart belongs to,
You are the one that my soul belongs to,
You are the one,
The one that this heart wants,
The one that this heart needs,
The one that it is bond to,
Your …

My Fondest Memory

Ever since I met you,
Ever since you came into my life,
My fondest memory is when you told me you felt the same,
That you felt the emotions I did in my heart,
Even though we hadn’t know each other that long,
It was like fate brought us together,
It was like the stars were twinkling brighter than before,
It was like a union of souls,
Ever since I met you,
Ever since you came into my life,
My fondest memory is when you told me you loved me,
Without a hesitation,
Without double thinking,
Without holding back,
Without saying we should wait,
Ever since I met you,
Ever since you came into my life,
My fondest memory is believing in true love again,
Believing that it isn’t crazy to love so quickly,
Believing that it doesn’t matter the distance,
It doesn’t matter what else might be going on,
That soul mates do exist still in this rough world,
That love can still exist through it all,
There have been hardships,
There has been pain,
But ever since I met you,
Ever since you came into my life,
My fondest memory is when all …

I Crave You

I crave you more than I could crave air,
I crave the way your touch will feel against my skin,
I crave to have you near me where I can feel you,
I crave to have you near me so I can kiss you,
I crave you my darling,
Your skin feels like satin against mine,
Your skin feels like warmth of the sun against me,
As you hold me closer,
As you kiss me deeper,
I feel the passion stirring within us both,
I feel the sexual tension rise,
I feel you grow with just my touch,
I feel your breath become deeper,
I can feel that you crave me too,
The wait has been enough,
I don’t want to wait anymore,
The distance is driving me crazy,
I must have you now,
I cannot be away any longer,
I cannot stand it anymore,
I must find a way,
I must find a way to you,
Because you are all I crave,
You are all I want,
You are all I need,
I crave to feel you against me,
I crave to have you kiss me deeply,
I crave to have you rise my passion with yours,
I crave for that completeness,
Your skin feels like a warm blanket around me,
Bringing me in to yo…

My Heart Beats Because Of You

My heart beats because you are in my life,
My heart races because of your voice,
My heart beats because I cannot stop thinking of you,
My heart beats because I love you with every breathe I have,
My heart beats because I cannot dream of a life without you,
Now that you are in my life,
Now that you are apart of my soul,
Now that you are apart of me,
My heart beats because you are the person I love,
My heart beats because I become breathless just dreaming of you,
My heart beats because you are everything I have ever wanted,
My heart beats because I never thought I would feel this way,
I had thought I had found my soul mate before,
I had thought I found the one that my heart could beat for forever,
But I was just left in the wind,
But I was just left in the dust,
And I had to go on and pick up the pieces of my heart,
But with you something is different,
But with you something is better,
But with you there is something that wasn’t there before,
My heart beats because you are in my life,
My heart races because…

The Way Home To You

Just look into my eyes my darling,
Just look into my soul,
Just give me a moment to look into your soul,
Just give me a moment to look into your heart,
Your eyes remind me of the forever I have been hoping for,
Your eyes remind me of the dreams that I’ve been dreaming of,
Your eyes reminds me that I am no longer alone,
Your eyes remind me to take a chance on love again,
I’ve been through so much pain,
I’ve been through so much heartache,
I’ve been through times I thought would never end,
I’ve been through times I never wanted to end,
The tears I’ve cried seemed to go unanswered for so long,
But than you came into my life,
But than you gave me something to believe in again,
But than you gave me hope,
But than you showed me to not give up,
But than you showed me it didn’t matter what happened before,
You were now here to hold me,
You were now here to love me,
You were now here to kiss me,
Just look into my eyes my darling,
Just look into my soul,
Just give me a moment,
Just give me forever,
Just show me its oka…

When I'm With You I Feel

When I’m with you I feel love beyond the stars,
When I’m holding you I feel every heart beat,
When I’m with you I can see the passion that beats with mine,
When I’m near you I can see the love you feel for me,
When I’m away from you I can still hear it,
The love that beats in your heart,
The passion that builds wanting me,
The longing for me to be in your arms,
The dreams that have come true since you have met me,
And the dreams that are just waiting to be fully realized,
When I’m with you I feel love beyond the stars,
I feel the eternity just waiting for us,
I feel the forever just hoping for us,
It is like the stars aligned to bring us together,
We are perfect for each other
We are meant to be together,
No matter the distance between us now,
Every time I hear your voice it closes,
Every time I think about you it disappears into nothing,
These two hearts have found,
These two souls have come together,
And no matter the obstacles in our way,
We will find a way my darling,
We will find a way together,
Because…

The Love Between You And Me

Come here my darling,
Come take me away,
I don’t need anything special,
I don’t need a romantic getaway,
All I need is you by my side,
This romance will never fade,
Whenever I talk to you I can feel the passion,
I feel the romance that is within us both,
Never have I felt this way,
Never have I felt an attraction this intense,
Never have I felt that perhaps forever really will last,
That forever has come taken me by my hand,
It has swept me away,
Nothing is going to stop us now,
Nothing will come between this relationship,
Nothing will split apart this companionship of lovers,
Nothing will tear us apart my dear,
Because now that I have you my darling,
Now that you are in my life,
I know what true intimacy is,
It is within those words you say,
It is within that touch you give me,
It is within the way you melt my heart,
Just by saying my name,
Just by calling me to your heart,
Just by giving me something to fully believe in,
I have been searching so long,
I have been searching so hard,
And than here you are,
Someth…

Forever In Love

I just want to hear your voice,
I just want to hold you tight,
I just want to kiss you,
Darling you are so far away,
Darling I just want to hold you,
Darling I need you here,
Darling I love you so,
I don’t care what they say,
However this pain in my heart,
The emptiness without you is hard,
I just want to hold you to me,
I just don’t ever want to let go,
I just want to be with you,
I want to close this distance,
I want to be home with you,
I want to hold you so close,
Darling you mean the world to me,
Darling you are my everything,
Darling I need you so much,
I don’t want to be away from you,
Not any longer,
I would give anything,
I would do anything
Just to be with you,
Just to hold you,
Just to kiss you deeply,
Just to hold you in my arms,
I love you so much,
No matter what they say,
Or what they do,
No matter how hard it is,
I will always love you,
I will always need you,
You are my everything,
Darling I love you,
Darling I need you,
Darling please come home,
Come home to me,
Let the distance fade,
Let our love be in th…

Finding Home

They say that there is no place like home. Well for me home physically had always been the beautiful state of Oregon. However the physical home would change during what would become the last portion of my marriage to David and my emotional home would be lost it would seem for quite some time. My life was always filled with hard times and a lot of ups and downs, however if you had told me that when I got married in October 23rd of 2004 that I would be divorced just a little over two years after getting married I might have not believed you. Not to mention if you told me that I would have lose most of my material possessions due to the ordeal I would be put through I would have not believed you.

I would never believe that the marriage I had with David would end the way it would. I would have never belieeved that I would lose most of my material possessions and still struggling now to regain the things I have lost. The most hurtful being a good portion of my writing being lost due t…

Soulmates

We are young enough to appreciate,
Yet old enough to understand,
How two people can become true lovers,
How two people can find a way,
Find a way to come together in true love and romance,
Find a way to come together with passion,
That never ends,
That never fully fades,
It just needs another reminder by a gentle touch,
A tender kiss,
A sweet smile,
A muttering of the words I love you,
We are young enough to appreciate,
But yet old enough to understand,
That we are two people,
That can become one,
That become true lovers,
To find a way through it all,
Through the hurt and pain,
The hardness and strife,
The obstacles that are thrown in our way,
But we will not give up,
We will not let anything take us away,
We will keep fighting,
We don’t care what other people say,
We don’t care what they do,
We are meant to be together,
Because we will always love,
We will always have this romance,
We will always have this passion,
We will have those gentle touches,
We will have those tender kisses,
Through the darkness and the rai…

One With The Night

She’s one with the night,
One with the wind,
One with the hunting memories within,
One with the dreams of moments past,
One with the dreams of moments future,
One with the hopes of tomorrow,
One with memories of the past,
She’s one with the night,
One with the wind,
One with him,
Always flowing,
Always going,
Always wanting,
Always needing,
He is the person she’s been looking for,
He is the person she’s been waiting for,
He is the person she’s been longing for,
He is the person she’s been needing for so long,
She’s one with the night,
One with the wind,
But when she thinks of him,
She feels grounded,
She feels secure,
She feels loved,
She feels things she hasn’t felt before,
She feels things more than ever before,
She feels light beyond any measure,
She’s one with the night,
One with the wind,
One with his heart,
Ever since she met him,
Her heart as belonged to him,
And until they are together,
Until they can be,
She will always be one with the night,
One with the wind,
Wishing just for him,
Him to come home to her,
Come …

Power Of Love

There is some sort of power within us,
There is something in the air around us,
There is something that has been started
There is something that cannot be explained,
There is something in this heart,
Nothing can tear this from us,
Nothing can break it down,
Nothing can hurt us,
Nothing can part us,
I won’t allow it,
Nothing will come in between us,
Nothing will hurt this,
Because there is some sort of power,
There is something that is within us,
There is something that is just meant to be,
There is something about you and me,
There is just this feeling that cannot be explained,
There is some sort of power within us,
There is something that I cannot explain,
I couldn’t explain it to myself even if I tried,
It is just there with you and me,
Is is just there existing in our lives,
When you arrived into my life,
Something changed,
And ever since than there has been this power,
There has been something in this air around us,
There has been something that has started,
Something that cannot be so easily explained,
Some…

Every Single Moment

Every single moment my darling,
Every single day,
The absence of you in my life makes it hard,
But I know someday soon we will be seeing each other,
And I will stare into your beautiful eyes,
And all the waiting will be worth it,
I wouldn’t care if you gave me anything that day,
A rose would be nice but not needed,
All I would need is you,
All I would need is you giving me your love,
All I would need is to be tasting you,
All I would need is to be holding you,
All I would need is to be touching you,
All I would need is to be caressing you,
Every single moment my darling,
Every single day,
This absence I feel because you are not here,
But I know that you will be in my life for real soon,
Until than we will make memories with our conversations,
With every single day talking to each other,
The distance is hard,
But this feels so right,
I cannot explain it even if I tried,
I cannot explain it,
But I know what I feel,
I feel the depths of my soul opening up,
I feel the depths of my heart opening up,
No one has had t…

I Cannot Keep Going This Way

I cannot keep going this way,
I must let go,
I must let it fade away,
My heart isn’t in it,
It’s found another,
It’s found another way,
I know that you care about me,
But I cannot stand here anymore,
I cannot stand alone,
I need that love I feel,
Whenever I think of him,
Don’t blame it on the distance,
Don’t blame it on anything else,
I justneed to follow this path,
I must feel the sun and not the rain,
There is nothing here,
It has faded away,
I do not feel anything,
I cannot lie anymore,
If you hate me after this,
I will understand,
But my path isn’t with you,
I need to move on,
I need to find him,
Please know I am sorry,
Please know it isn’t that I don’t care,
But it has gotten cold here,
We never even talk anymore,
So let us part from this,
Because I cannot keep going this way,
I have to let it go,
I must let it fade away,
My heart isn’t in it,
It felt lost from you,
I have found another,
But no true looking
While your life kept you from me,
It’s too late now,
I cannot bring back the emotions,
Not when my heart is gone…

Now That I Have You

Now that I have you in my life,
Now that I have this love,
I can let it all go,
I can let the hurt go,
I can lay it to rest,
I can do more than just bury the past,
It will just vanish,
Now that you are here,
I feel no more pain from the past,
I feel no more hurt from the past,
I feel no more sorrow,
I do not even think about those times,
Because ever since you came into my life,
Ever since you entered,
You swept me away,
Took away all the hurt,
Took away all the pain,
Took away all the sorrow,
You brought me back light,
You brought me back hope,
You brought me back dreams,
Now I am able to fully let go,
More so than I ever been able to before,
Because you are in my life,
You have given me the strength,
You have given me the hope,
You have given me everything,
I couldn’t seem to find on my own,
And because of you,
I am able to let go,
Let go of all the pain,
Let go of all the hurt,
Let go of all the past,
Let go of all the chains,
And let myself succumb to you,
And let myself love you,
And let myself find the happiness,
I…

Dreaming Of You

Ever since I met you,
Ever since the first conversation,
Ever since the first time I heard your voice,
I have been dreaming of you,
Every breath I breathe,
Every beat of my heart,
Every moment of the day,
I have been dreaming of you,
Every time I look at your picture,
Every time I talk to you,
Every time I hear your voice,
I dream of you,
You my dear have stolen my heart,
You my dear have stolen my breath,
You my dear have stolen my fears of loving,
You have found a way to break through,
You have found a way to destroy all the negative,
You have found a way for me to move forward,
I no longer think about the bad,
I no longer think of the past,
All I can think about,
All I can dream about is you,
Ever since I met you,
Ever since that first conversation,
Ever since the first time I heard your voice,
Ever since the first time you said I love you,
I have been dreaming of you,
Dreaming of being together,
Dreaming of holding you,
Dreaming of kissing you,
Dreaming of everything,
Dreaming of us,
Dreaming of our future,
Dream…

Talking To You

When I talked to you,
My heart skipped a thousand beats,
As it raced thinking about you,
I never stopped loving,
I never stopped missing,
You had stayed in my mind,
Your image was always there,
No matter what,
Because I never got over you,
I could not leave you behind like I have done,
Before to many others before you,
Something about you,
Something about how you are,
Stayed in my mind,
Stayed in my heart,
Stayed in my soul,
When I talked to you,
I felt magic again,
I felt dreams returning,
I felt everything like it was yesterday,
From the first time I talked to you,
The first time I listened to your voice,
When I talk to you,
Everything in my world seems to slow,
And all I have is the thoughts,
The thoughts of you and me,
What am I to do now my darling?
Do you still want me?
Do you still care?
Do you love me?
Do you still?
I never wanted to hurt you,
I never wanted to leave you,
I thought you were gone,
Gone from my life forever,
But now that you are here,
Now that you are with me?
Here back in my life,
All my world is u…

I Am Not

I am not another notch on your belt,
I am not another person to just fuck,
I am not another object,
Maybe you cannot handle this,
Maybe your needs are different,
But I am done with the games,
But I am doing playing around,
I know what I want,
And I won’t settle for less,
I am not just some object to play with,
I am not just some other girl,
I will not deal with the heartache,
I will not deal with the pain,
Maybe I’ll still get hurt this way,
But I rather hurt through that,
Than deal with the games,
Than deal with the bullshit,
I am not just some other play thing,
I am not just another score,
I am not just another thing,
I am a person with emotions,
I am a person with other needs,
I am a person with a heart of gold,
Maybe you cannot handle it,
Maybe you are too scared,
Maybe you cannot see behind sexual pleasures,
But that is your loss,
But that is for you to deal with,
Because I will not stand here,
I will walk away,
Because I am more than just another,
And I am not going to stay around,
When that’s all you can see,

My Love Forever

No matter the hurt and pain,
No matter the broken pieces
Of this fallen heart,
You still stand there,
You know how to still
Make me smile,
Your laughter lights up my heart,
When everything else is gone,
No matter how much it hurts to breathe,
I find a way somehow
Because just one look in your eyes,
Just one look at your face,
Just one thought,
And the broken pieces don’t seem to hurt,
Don’t seem to hurt as much,
Looking back over the years,
Looking back over the words written,
Just wishing for one more,
Just wanting one more,
Just wanting this dream,
Maybe I am crazy,
But I honestly don’t care anymore,
Maybe they are right,
Maybe I am wrong,
But this is what I know for sure,
I know that despite everything,
Despite the hurt and pain,
My heart still loves you,
The love has never faded,
The love has only gorwn,
No matter what I do,
I have tried everything
To give you up,
I distanced myself
Causing only more pain,
I tried moving on
Only to find broken promises,
Broken dreams,
And false hopes,
I tried just having 
Best friend on…

Dreams And Illusions

Dreams are illusions,
Illusions are dreams,
Sometimes what we wish,
Sometimes what we dream,
Sometimes what we hope
Seem to get us through
Those times of true pain,
And when the hurt seems to surface,
And tears want to come,
And it takes every ounce,
And it takes every breathe,
And it takes every moment
To not fall apart,
And I want to feel
A love like I thought I had,
And I want to see
The true beauty of my dreams,
And I don’t want to go through it,
Through it alone,
The sadness that comes not due to him,
But the dream that was shattered,
And torn apart,
The hope that seemed to fade,
And the wondering if I would truly find
What I have been searching for,
Dreams are illusions,
Illusions are dreams,
Four years ago I stood there,
Believing I had found what I was searching for,
But it was just a dream,
It was just a cruel illusion,
Because now four years later I stand here,
Alone without him near,
And he is far away,
And he has been gone from my life,
And the pain is great,
Although I try to not care as much,
Although I try…

Like Seriously I Am DONE!

Okay time for a rant. I am seriously like done with certain things. I am soo beyond fucking tired of certain things I am putting my foot down. For a little bit I was friends with one of my friend's fiancee's ex (confusing I know) but I got tired of the whole wanting to know what was going on with those two and her not dropping things and moving on when they hadn't been together for awhile that I was like okay I am done.

I am also done with people that know her trying to put me in the middle of shit. LEAVE THINGS THE FUCK ALONE!! Seriously!! It's his life he's not with her anymore he's with the one he is with and is getting married and has a child with her. MOVE THE FUCK ON!! Just let things go already seriously. If you don't want to hear about things than don't listen. If you don't want to know about things than stop reading it. It is your choice but seriously I am done. I got enough shit going on personally and I care deeply about my friends that I …

Emotional Mess

Since I haven't written any poetry and I did post this on my myspace blog I am going to post both blogs I did over there here to put something newer here.Right now I feel like I am an emotional mess. I have sooo much that has been going through my mind especially as of late that I just don't think I can keep it to myself anymore. This year has been one of the harder years emotionally for me I have seemed to take some things that I took just fine in years or even year ago past harder this year. I don't know why but this year has been really hard as I think about past events or past things I have realized how hard this year has been for me and Adam both.

Adam has gone through about the same amount of emotional and other crap as I have. We both have gone through some shitty relationship stuff this year. He was in that car accident and mom and I been struggling on things the last few months. He had to deal with a move and the whole thing that surrounded that just kept on gettin…

Eleven Years Ago

Eleven years ago,
My world fell down for a period of time,
I was told you were gone,
I wonder now if you were alive,
What would you go through in life?
Would you have had a girlfriend?
Would you have had a wife by now?
Would you have had children?
Would you be working at a job you loved?
Or hated?
Would you have gone to college?
Would you have seen that you were cared for?
Would you see that perhaps it all was a dream?
That the pain you felt would go away?
That things would get better?
That if you knew how much people cared,
You would leave things the way you did?
Eleven years ago,
My world fell down for a period of time,
I had to tell my best friend you were gone,
I was told that I just had to be wrong,
I had to do everything to hold it in,
The tears and pain,
Until I uttered those words,
My best friend now was there holding me tight,
Knowing that I was just given the worse news that night,
And now I wonder if you were alive,
What would you have gone through in life?
Would you have found love?
Would you have see…

Don't Look For Me

Don’t look for me,
You lost that chance,
You lost the ability when I found out,
You lost the ability to be even my friend,
You played me like a well known player,
You played me making me think,
Making me believe in things,
But the joke is on you now,
I am no longer there,
Don’t look for me,
You won’t find me,
When everyone else leaves you behind,
You will be alone,
And you will not have me,
I would have done many things,
I would have loved you until the end,
But you don’t even deserve my trust,
You don’t even deserve my love,
You don’t even deserve any tears I want to cry,
You don’t deserve anything,
Because you are just a player,
You don’t know what real love is,
You don’t know what it is to really care,
You don’t know how to be faithful,
You don’t know how to be honest,
You just keep on lying,
You just keep on going,
But I won’t believe it anymore,
Don’t look for me,
You won’t find me,
When everyone else deserts you,
And you realize what you have lost,
You won’t find me anymore,
You won’t see me hurting,
You won’t s…

Relationships

Relationships are one of the hardest things we as people really go through. So many of us go through so much heartache and so many bad times. Some people get hurt once and give up and become a cynic. Some of us go through many bad times and decide enough is enough and become that cynic. Some of go through literal hell it seems and somehow someway find a way to keep going. Those of us that do that I tell you we deserve good things because we put through everything and somehow still don't give up.

I am one of those people. I have gone through some hard times at my age. Everything from abusive type relationships, to players, to having to deal with a divorce, and gods knows what else. Yet, somehow I keep going. Although I have felt like giving up myself trust me it isn't always easy being someone like me! There are times even I wonder how I keep going when there are times that I just want to forget it all and just give up.

But I guess maybe part of it is that I keep telling others y…

Fools In Love

Maybe I am a fool in love,
Who looks before really leaping,
Who believes without knowing much,
But I don’t care what people think,
Or what people say,
Or about possibily getting hurt,
Because I know in my heart,
And I know in my soul,
That you are different than those others,
With you I feel safer than I’ve ever felt before,
I might have thought before things,
Or emotions I feel now,
But none of those even compare,
None of those even come close,
What I feel with you blows me out of my own mind,
What I feel with you blows me out of my own soul,
Maybe we are fools in love,
But I don’t care,
Because as long as I have you,
As long as you are in my life,
And as long as I know you care in my heart,
I rather be a fool for the rest of my days,
I rather have this happiness,
This happiness that is brighter,
Than anything I’ve ever felt,
I felt like I am coming home,
Coming home to where I belong,
Whenever I hold you in my arms,
Whenever I kiss you,
Whenever you touch me,
Whenever we make love,
Maybe I am a fool in love,
But t…

Before You

Before you my heart was sad and blue,
It went through pain and heartache,
It went through tears and rain,
It went through time after time,
Thinking I had found the one,
But was disappointed time and time again,
But than you came into my life,
And I heard a new song,
And the heart that was sad and blue,
That had gone through pain and heartache,
The tears and rain,
Seemed to fade away,
And a new color was born on that heart,
That day you came into my life,
All the scars seemed to have healed,
All the chains fell away,
All the past seem to disappear,
And all I could see was light,
And a brand new red heart,
Something with more passion,
More love,
More dreams than I could even imagine,
And the blood felt warm in my vaines,
And the love seemed to grow,
Just from one glance,
One look from you,
Before you my heart was sad and blue,
It went through pain and heartache,
It went through tears and heartache,
It went through time after time,
Thinking I had found the one,
But was disappointed time and time again,
But that all cha…

Our First Moments

When you came to me that first night,
I felt we weren’t strangers at all,
Because when I set my eyes on you,
And finally got to see you face to face,
And my eyes took on the full sight of you,
I felt that feeling,
That special bond that you feel,
When you find your soul mate,
Before I knew it I was touching your skin,
And you touch the depth of my soul within a moment,
And than you gave me a kiss,
And than I knew even more that I found the one,
You held me,
You gave me a hug,
And every single touch lite my soul on fire,
When you came to me that first night,
I felt I wasn’t looking at someone I didn’t know,
I felt like I was at someone I love without words,
Without needing to say a thing,
Your kiss told me how much I meant to you,
Your hold told me how much you wanted to be with me,
I felt the magic between us that moment,
And the moments that followed,
I knew that I was yours,
And you are mine,
Even before we came to meet,
That fateful first night,
I knew from the first moment,
The first conversation,
The first t…