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Showing posts from 2010

It's The Last Chance

It’s about to be a new year,
About to be a new start,
It’s the last chance,
The last chance to change things,
To change things within,
To change things within us,
To take that moment,
Give it your best,
Just say the words,
Just say it and make it last,
Just something simple,
Doesn’t have to be complex,
I am not asking,
Not asking for anything difficult,
Just a few words,
Just something to change,
Change what is,
What is you and me,
Just give me that,
Just say you want to be mine,
Mine forever,
Until the end of time,
It’s that last chance,
Take it now,
Take it true,
Before it’s gone,
Before it’s too late,
Before the clock strikes twelve,
End the year in good standing,
Change the way things are,
Give me that hope,
Give me that feeling,
Take away the numbness,
Take away that lack of feeling,
The feeling of just standing here,
Even though I am so in love with you,
But being in so much pain,
Because there is still so much,
I want,
I need,
I crave,
I desire,
It’s the last chance,
Take it now,
Take it true,
Give it to me,
Give it all,
I …

Lost Within

First 10 lines was written by a friend the rest I wrote he gave me permission to use his lines as a starting point.

So lost, bed ridden with thought.
Trapped within my head, caged, iron-wrought.
Defecating words onto this page
Pain wrapped, around so many years.
Solace found, within my tears
Hard to act like I'm okay
Holding within, all my rage.
Having to watch, all I do and all I say.
Translucent thoughts around my head sway
My light grows dimmer and dimmer, each and every day.
Hard moments come within,
Pain,
Hurt,
What am I to do now?
Trying to shake off this disaster
Where is my happily ever after?
Does it still exist?
Or am I going to be left with this?
Want to be mad,
Want to scream,
Want to shout,
What else do you want?
What else do I have to give?
So lost,
Ridden with all these thoughts,
Wondering where am I going to turn to,
Trapped within this mindset,
Trapped within,
Want to scream it out,
Want to twist it about,
Pain from the past coming to the surface,
Thought you were the answer,
But it seems I am st…

An Asthmatics View On Asthma

Try to breathe,
Inhale,
Exhale,
It isn’t that difficult right?
Try to not cough too much,
Take the inhaler,
Make tea,
Check,
Check,
Chest hurts,
Hands trembling,
Feeling tired,
Feeling not tired,
Please no migraine,
Not this time,
Pain is enough,
Please no dizziness,
That is never fun,
Just sit,
Just sit,
Hold on,
Not the first time,
Not going to be the last,
Tea is still too hot,
Drink slowly,
Just keep the breathing,
Inhale,
Exhale,
Might not seem hard to most,
But for an asthmatic,
For someone who is struggling,
It can be the hardest thing in the world,
Medications can only do so much,
Even if you are on what you need,
Pain,
Pain,
More chest pain,
Use to it by now,
Just work through it,
Got to keep writing,
Keep the words going,
Just focus on anything else,
Anything else but the pain,
Remember the difficulty of working,
When one like this happened,
The way minutes seemed to be slow,
Like if it was just mere seconds,
That everything seems crazy,
And your mind wonders,
Because you cannot focus,
Focus on anything,
Inhale,
Exhale,
Breath…

Cannot Feel

Cannot feel,
Cannot sense,
Cannot be real,
This has to be a dream,
This cannot be reality,
This has to be some sort of dark fantasy,
You cannot be gone,
This has to be a nightmare,
This cannot be,
Cannot feel,
Cannot get my senses,
Cannot even cry,
Emotions deep,
Emotions drain,
Emotions,
Can I even feel them?
Can I even sense them?
Can I even see my own heart?
Can I find a way to even process?
Can I find a way to even see?
Keep myself busy,
Keep myself thinking,
Keep myself doing anything,
No matter what I do,
Who I talk to,
I just cannot feel,
Cannot feel,
Cannot sense,
Did I lose it?
Lose my heart?
Lose my emotions?
Lose it all?
All I feel is numb,
Numb where I cannot cry,
Cannot get past,
Cannot even begin,
Begin to try,
Begin to feel,
What am I going to do?
What is going to happen?
What is going to come?
All I want is to feel,
Even if it is the pain,
Even if it is the rain,
Just something,
Anything,
Anything than this,
This numb,
This lack of feeling,
That lies deep within my heart,
Deep within my soul,
Can I let go?
Can I let go?

Will You Take That Chance

Will you take that chance?
Take that leap?
Give it your all?
Give it true?
Will you take that moment?
Let down your guard,
Give me those words?
Give me that what I crave,
Or will you let me walk away?
Will you take that chance?
Will you finally see what others have seen,
For so long?
That has seen for many months,
For many days,
For even those that might not know us well,
Especially me?
Worry maybe a bit less,
Trust a bit more,
Believe what is us,
Don’t let anything tear down,
What we can be,
Will you take that chance?
Will you give it your all?
Without thinking,
Without always worrying,
Just give into that moment,
Know that it rings true,
Know that it rings within,
Stop with the excuse,
No more saying you feel pressured,
You know it is true,
The emotions,
The feeling,
The love within,
So take that chance,
Even if you are a bit unsure,
Life is never fully certain,
Things always change,
But if you take my hand,
Take it right now,
Take it true,
Know that I will stand with you,
Stand with you through it all,
But you got to do it,

I Hear Your Voice Calling

I hear your voice calling,
I hear it in my mind,
I hear it in my soul,
I hear it in my heart,
I hear it my dear,
I hear your voice calling,
Through the space,
Through the time,
Through every moment I feel alone,
Every moment I wish for something,
So hard and deep,
Through the hardship,
Through the dark days,
It carries me through,
It carries me through that moment,
And the moment next,
I hear your voice calling,
Calling out my mind,
Calling me toward you,
Telling me to not give up,
Telling me to not give up the hope,
Give up the love,
Give up the dreams within,
Moments might seem dark,
Light might seem dim,
It keeps pushing me,
It keeps calling me,
Telling me to keep holding on,
Telling me to keep on going,
Even through this dark moment,
Even through this dark day,
That the one will be with me,
The one will be there for me,
The one will love me always,
I hear your voice calling,
Hear you calling out my name,
Calling me like a song,
Calling me,
Pulling me close,
Bringing me in,
Holding me within,
Bringing me hope,
When all is …

Restless Tonight

Restless tonight,
Something is just not right,
Thoughts are running high,
Screaming through the corners of my mind,
Wondering,
Wishing,
Needing,
Something more tonight,
Lost in thought,
Lost in moments deep,
Had hopes high,
Then they disappeared again tonight,
I wished so hard,
I wished with all my might,
And then nothing came,
And I was left disappointed,
Restless tonight,
Something is just not right,
As much as I hide within,
As much as I hide deep within my walls,
Deep within my heart,
Deep within my soul,
Behind the mask,
The one most cannot see,
The one I hide from,
Restless tonight,
Wanting nothing more than to be held tonight,
Wanting nothing more to feel love,
Wanting nothing more to feel happiness,
That reaches deep,
Reaches deeper than anything in the world,
Reaches to the depth of your heart,
The depth of your soul,
The depth of everything around you,
Restless tonight,
Wishing for peace again,
Wishing for something deep,
Wishing for something calming,
Wishing for something more,
Wanting my dreams fulfilled,
Wanti…

I Want It All

I want it all,
I want everything,
I do not want to settle,
I want what my heart desires,
I want what my dreams are made of,
I want my dreams made flesh,
I want my dreams made into reality,
I want it all,
I want the romance,
I want the words,
I want the actions,
I want the future,
I want to be with you,
Until the end of time,
I would give you everything,
All that you need,
All that your heart desires,
Help build,
Help create,
All of your dreams,
Help you achieve them into reality,
Help you achieve them into flesh,
I want it all,
No more hiding,
No more holding back,
Just being,
Just being together,
Just the love,
Just everything,
Time to pull back the emotions,
Time to pull back anything that holds you,
Holds you back from me,
Holds you back from this love,
Holds me back from being able to give you,
Everything that is within,
Everything that lies deep,
Deep within my heart,
Within my soul,
Release,
Release the walls,
Release that hold,
Because I want it all,
I want you,
I want you always,
I want to be together with you,
But I nee…

Will The Stars Align Tonight

Will the stars align tonight?
Will my dreams come true tonight?
On this most magic of occasion,
On this most magic of nights,
On this most wonderful of days,
Will what I have wished for,
What I have hoped for,
What I have dreamed of,
Come true tonight?
Will the stars align tonight?
Will the one thing,
I wish for above everything else,
Come true tonight?
Will I have the words I have longed to hear,
The ones that whisper sweetly in my ear,
The ones that whisper in my heart,
The ones that can change everything I know,
Everything I see,
Everything around me,
Will I have what I have been hoping for,
The only true gift I really want?
The only true gift I want to receive?
Will the stars align tonight?
Will my dreams come true tonight?
Will things change finally?
Will things be the way I hope,
The way I have always dreamed of,
The way I have always imagined in my mind,
In my heart,
In my soul,
In every part of my being,
Will the stars align tonight?
Will it finally come together?
Will it finally come true tonight?
Just four w…

He Gave It All

He gave it all,
He gave us everything,
He gave us His life,
So that we may live eternally,
He let Himself be made into flesh,
To be ridiculed,
To be hurt,
To be disbelieved,
To be put on the Cross,
To make that victory at Calvary,
To make that victory over sin,
Over death,
Over things that we deal with everyday,
Because He loved us,
He gave it all,
He gave us everything,
He gave us a gift,
So we may be saved,
So we may have salvation,
As long as we believed,
As long as we grasp to the knowledge,
That we are lost without Him,
That we have no hope without Him,
That we need Him in our lives,
That we cannot live without Him,
He gave it all,
For us to find this way,
To find our path toward Him,
To accept Him into our life,
To hold onto to that,
To give everything we have to Him,
To let Him lead us,
To guide us,
To carry through,
To carry through all the good times,
To carry through all the bad times,
And all the times between,
Through all the tests and trials,
All you have to do,
Is pray to Him,
Give your trust in Him,
Believe in…

All He Wanted For Christmas

All he wanted for Christmas,
All he desired,
All he dreamed of,
Was to be by your side,
To be with you,
To care for you,
To love you,
Even if it was still soon,
All he wanted for Christmas,
All he thought of,
Was how happy he actually felt,
After so many years,
After so many times,
After so many hardships,
After so many disappointments,
After so many rough patches,
He saw new hope,
He saw new light,
He found his belief in love again,
Even if he never fully gave up before,
I could tell the change,
The change in his voice,
The change in his heart,
The change in his mind,
The change in his soul,
But then you turned it around,
Told him things,
Said things,
Made that happiness disappear,
Made that voice change again,
Made him feel it was him,
Feel that it was his fault,
That he did something wrong,
All he wanted for Christmas,
Was something that couldn’t be given,
As a material thing,
Just your heart,
Just your love,
Just something that you cannot measure,
Just something that he wanted to hold onto,
Something he could believe in…

We've Always Been Close

We’ve always been close,
We’ve always been closely linked,
We’ve always seemed to have parallel lives,
When it comes to love,
When it comes to friends,
When it comes to things,
That is around us,
Maybe not always the same,
Maybe not always a duel copy,
But we both have gone through so much,
So much close to the same time,
Close to the same moments,
Closer than most could ever think,
I understand you more than most,
I know what lies within your heart,
I know what lies within your soul,
I see it all,
I see it more,
Because I am your best friend,
I am the one that has been by your side,
The one that has your back,
The one that is there through thick and thin,
And although we have had our downs,
As well as all the ups,
Because I care about you,
Because I love you,
Because I want the best for you,
We’ve always been close,
I have always been there,
Even through those dark times,
My mind was always on you,
I always cared about you,
Always wanted your happiness,
Always wanted you to feel,
Love beyond your dreams,
Beyond your i…

It Hurts My Heart

It hurts my very depth,
My very soul,
Watching you hurt,
Watching you want to cry,
Watching you wonder,
Watching you doubt yourself,
Knowing that even with a hug,
Even with a long conversation,
Even with being the best friend,
I cannot fully heal,
The wound you have been given,
The wound that is now fresh in your heart,
In your mind,
In your soul,
I care about you so much,
I have known you for so long,
I hate to see you this way,
To see you think those things,
To think that it is something you did,
Something you said,
Something that is about you,
When I see what I see,
What I know what I know,
When you are who you are,
It hurts the very depth,
The very heart of my soul,
The very being of my mind,
The very deepest emotions,
I hate seeing you this way,
Seeing you through this,
Just when you felt you found someone,
Someone you could care about,
Someone that you liked so much,
Someone I thought I even could sense,
But then it was turned around,
Turned from those emotions,
And you were stuck wondering,
Wondering why,
Wondering…

I Am Your Girl

I am your girl,
I am your girl fully,
I am your girl in every way,
I am your girl with every moment,
Every breathe,
Every part of my being,
Everything that is in my soul,
People can see it,
People can sense it,
People smile at me knowing,
Feeling,
The emotion,
The hearts,
That beat together,
I am your girl,
I will protect your honor,
I will protect your grace,
I will protect everything,
That is in this hard world,
I have belief in you,
I have hope for you,
I have love for you,
I decided early on,
And I believe it even more,
I decide every day,
Every moment,
Every second,
That I am your girl,
I might not always
Be able to fight through the injustices,
That is in this life,
But I will stand beside you,
Hold your hand,
Stand with you,
Weather through this storm,
Because I am your girl,
I am yours and yours alone,
I do not stand for those
That tries to threaten us,
Try to harm us,
Try to cause strife,
Try to say they will do certain things,
If I don’t do something,
I have integrity,
I have this belief,
And I will stand,
Stand with yo…

When We Danced

When we danced I felt the time freeze,
When you had your arms around me,
Looking into my eyes,
I wanted to just freeze everything,
Stop the time,
Stop that moment,
Just live,
Every moment plays over,
And over in my mind,
It was the best day,
The best moment,
The best time I have had,
Beauty,
Romance,
Love,
It all flowed that day,
That moment,
That time,
I felt it in your eyes,
I felt it in that embrace,
I felt it in that dance,
I felt it in the conversations that day,
Felt everything,
Stronger than ever before,
It created a memory,
A memory that holds my mind,
Holds my dreams,
Holds my everything,
When we danced,
I knew even more,
Knew even deeper,
Knew with every fiber of my being,
Every fiber of my soul,
How much I love you,
How much you mean to me,
It wasn’t that I didn’t know before,
Didn’t know there was that feeling,
But it felt even more,
Felt even deeper,
Felt to the depth of my heart,
My soul,
Every part,
I love you my darling,
Love you with everything,
Everything that I am,
That I have,
Forever,
And that dance,
Was one of…

To Be Home With You

Tree lights sparkled,
Quietness fills the room,
Thoughts are racing,
Mind is speaking,
Dreams are reaching deep,
Wishing,
Wanting,
It’s so lonely here,
Peace can be great,
Quietness can be wonderful,
But I would trade it all,
Trade it easily for just,
For just one moment with you,
For just one kiss with you,
For just a way to hold you close,
For just a way to be with you tonight,
But I am sitting here,
Thinking of,
Wishing I was,
With you,
Wishing I was in your arms,
Wishing I was laying there,
Just looking into your arms,
Just being held,
Just letting the moment,
Letting the emotion,
Wash all over me,
But alas,
I am here,
Here in this room,
In this space,
In this time without you,
Looking at the lights,
Looking all around,
Feeling a hole,
Because you are not here,
I want to be with you,
I want to be by your side,
I want to love you,
Give you all you need,
Want to stay warm,
Within your embrace,
But I am here,
Stuck here alone,
Wanting nothing more,
Wishing nothing more,
Needing nothing more,
Than to have you here,
Holding me,
Cuddl…

I Might Not Have

I might not have money,
I might not have much to my name,
I might not have a thousand possessions,
Or things to call my own,
But I have love in my heart,
I have beauty in my soul,
I have joy in my mind,
Even through the dark moments,
I might have health issues,
I might have a hard time working,
In terms of something you get paid for,
But I have these words,
I have this gift,
I have the blessing,
Of being able to touch lives,
I might not always,
Be able to do things others can,
But I do have my purpose,
I have my own worth,
I am strong,
Maybe even stronger than others around me,
I am the counselor,
When someone needs a person to talk to,
I am the best friend,
A person who is there,
If given a chance,
A person who stands up for her friends,
A person who is protective of her friends,
I am a lover,
A person who loves with her whole heart,
Her whole soul,
Her whole mind,
With every breathe,
Every part,
Every portion that I am,
I may not have money,
But I can show you many things,
I can be there for every moment of your life,
I…

As I Was Saying

As I was saying all I want is you,
As I was trying to tell you,
That this love is real,
That this hope is real,
That this desire is real,
That this feeling is real,
That this emotion is real,
That this moment is real,
That I am real,
As I was saying is look at me,
Tell me,
Show me,
Believe in me,
Give me something more,
Don’t just tease,
Don’t just sit there,
Don’t just let time pass you by,
Show me what lies within,
Show me what’s in the depth of your heart,
Give me what I desire,
What I need,
What I crave,
Without the excuse,
Without saying this,
Or saying that,
Just try,
Mistakes happen,
I don’t expect perfection,
I just want to know,
Want to feel
Want to believe,
Want to have this,
As I was saying my dear darling,
That I love you,
You are my everything,
But I need something my darling,
I need to know I am not alone,
In this relationship,
In this love,
In us,
Even if it hasn’t been that long,
I need the words,
I need the feeling,
More than just once in awhile,
More than just here and there,
Every day,
Every moment,
Every time t…

What I Want This Year

This is what I want this year,
This is what I want to receive,
It is something so simple,
It is something so easy,
I don’t really need any presents,
I don’t really need things under the tree,
I just want your love,
Your heart,
Everything that lies within,
Every moment,
Every part of your being,
I just want you,
Gifts and presents are nice,
But this is what would matter than those things,
I want the words,
I want the feeling,
I want to know,
I want to believe,
I want to feel it in my bones,
Ever compressing,
Ever consuming,
Wonderful,
Amazing,
Love,
No boundaries,
No barriers,
No more ifs,
No more buts,
No more excuses,
This is what I want this year,
This is the only thing I really want to receive,
This is the only gift I really need,
This is the only present I need,
I don’t need fancy things,
Or things under a tree,
I don’t need material things,
As long as there is you and me,
As long as there is the two of us,
As long as I know this,
I just want what you are,
I just want the love that is within,
To no longer hide within,
To …

Finding The Strength

Finding the strength,
Finding that hope,
Getting through,
Finding a way,
Through this darkness,
Through this being,
Through this hurt,
That lies so deep,
Letting it all go,
Letting all the pain subside,
Letting the chains fall away,
Even through this dark time,
It is time to let it go,
Finding peace within,
No longer afraid,
Even if unsure of the path,
I am now following,
But knowing that I must go,
I must go down this path,
Although not traveled,
Although never set foot,
Although so comfortable here,
But I must let it all go,
I must let it all change,
I must find a way,
Even if it is hard,
Even if it feels impossible,
Even if it seems life as I know it,
Is slowly slipping away,
But I will find that strength,
I will find that way,
I will find the light,
I will find a way out of the darkness,
I might lose a few things,
I might lose,
But I will gain again,
I will find again,
I will love again,
I will believe again,
Because I am making a change,
I am finding peace with myself,
Being happy where I am,
Who I am,
Whatever I may beco…

Do You Really See

Do you really see?
Do you really see the real me?
Do you see behind the mask?
Behind what I put out to the world?
Do you take a moment?
Do you really see behind the brown eyes?
The soul?
The heart?
The true beauty within?
Do you really see?
Do you see the pain?
Do you see the hardship?
Do you see what lies within?
Can’t you see?
Can’t you see the real me?
Look beyond the smiles,
Look beyond the laughter,
Look beyond the outer,
Look deeper inside,
Look beyond those moments,
See all there is,
See what there is of me,
I do it because,
I know nothing else,
I do it because,
I love you,
I do it because,
It’s hard because I have been hurt,
I have been through hard times,
And although you might think it’s easy,
To just show my emotions on my sleeve,
I still struggle day in,
Day out,
Because I want to believe,
Believe in beauty,
Believe in love,
Believe in something wonderful,
I just want to be taken by my hand,
Be shown emotions,
Without worrying,
Without thinking,
Without comparing time,
Just be,
Just love,
Just give it your all,
Do yo…

You Never Learn

There are many things we never seem to learn,
Things that keep coming back,
Time and time again,
Even when we believe,
Even when we thought,
That we would never go back
To things we promised ourselves,
Oh but sometimes we still don’t learn,
Because we want to think of the best,
We want to believe in the dream,
We want to hope,
Even when it seems crazy,
Even when it seems insane,
But sometimes there are times,
Those lessons we never learn,
Those lessons we go through time,
And time again,
There are some things worth repeating,
Especially when it comes to love,
Because we have to take that chance,
Even through hardship,
And broken hearts,
Because you never know,
What can happen?
Don’t make an excuse,
Doesn’t matter if you have dealt with it or before,
Sometimes you can’t learn,
Without unlearning something from your past,
Sometimes you got to let go,
Sometimes you have to hold on,
Sometimes you have to never learn a lesson,
And sometimes you need to learn it well,
Just remember to take risks,
Take chances,
Don’t hold ba…

Letting The Words Flow

Most of the time I rather let them flow,
Let the words lead where they wish,
Without a form,
Without a care,
Just let them spring out,
Spring out from my mind,
My heart,
My soul,
Through the good,
Through the bad,
Through the times in between,
To touch where it needs to be touched,
To bring joy when hardship comes,
To bring happiness where there is sadness,
To bring every emotion needed,
This is why I let it flow,
Let the words come where they lead,
Come to where they settle,
To come and play,
To bring beauty,
In such a hard world,
To bring light,
Where there is darkness,
To bring hope,
When all seems to be lost,
For all these reasons,
I let them flow,
Let them be,
Let them go across,
Take nothing for granted,
Give them to the world,
Take nothing back,
Just let them go,
Many people do not have the gift,
Many people do not give it a chance,
Many people don’t believe,
And many people don’t let them have a freedom,
To just dance upon the page,
Let the emotions out,
Let the thoughts out,
Let it go,
To that world,
That crazy ever …

We Need To Take A Stand

Everywhere I turn so many people,
So many things being taken for granted,
Holidays that is supposed to be special,
Are being taken for granted,
Commercialism,
Materialism at its best,
Where did it all go?
Where did the true purpose go?
Where did the lessons from the past,
The things we worked so hard,
The things that was the basis,
Of our lives come down to?
We put ourselves first,
We put material things first,
Instead of what it’s supposed to be,
We put anything but God first,
We don’t understand,
We don’t see,
What we are doing,
We don’t see what we are ignoring,
We don’t see what we are turning away from,
We don’t see,
We don’t see farther than our face,
Farther than the latest gadget to get,
A newer TV,
A newer car,
A newer game system,
Since when did just buying gifts become important?
Since when did we care about just ourselves?
Homeless people are on the street,
There are kids without enough to eat,
Kids who go without day in,
And day out,
Kids that would give anything to even have something new,
Have something…

Build Upon That Emotion

Build upon that emotion,
Build upon that dream,
Build upon that hope,
Come on honey,
Come on darling,
Let’s not stop here,
Let’s not stop now,
Let’s not stop this moment,
I want to keep on building,
I want to keep on expanding,
I want to keep it going,
Never ending,
Never stopping,
Only growing,
Only expanding,
Only stacking as time goes on,
This is the moment,
This is the time,
This is the day,
To change everything,
To change everything around us,
To change what you and I are,
To change what we are to each other,
To change it now,
To change it forever,
Just with a few words,
Just build upon that emotion,
Build upon that dream,
Build upon that hope,
Build upon that love,
Build it my darling,
Let us not stop,
Let us not lose sight,
Let us find our way,
Let us find our way together,
Let us build it now my darling,
Let us build it now,
Build that emotion,
Build that dream,
Build that hope,
Build that love,
Build it,
Build through the good times,
Build through the hard times,
Build through the in between times,
Build through,
Every s…

Slow Down Time With You

When you are with me,
I don’t want to slow down,
I don’t want to stop the emotions,
I don’t want to stop anything,
The only thing I want to slow down,
The only thing I want to last forever,
Is this moment,
Are these moments with you,
Is the time I have with you,
Are the days I spend with you,
Are the moments that ring true,
I love you so much my darling,
Every part of my heart,
Every part of my soul,
Every part of my being,
Screams,
Yells,
Feels,
Believes,
Thinks,
Dreams,
Of you,
I just want to slow it down,
Put time on pause,
Take in that moment,
Take in that breathe,
Take in every portion,
Every bit,
Make it last,
Make it expand,
Make it grow,
Make it forever,
I just want this time to slow down,
Slow down between you and me,
To make it last,
Make it forever,
Just us,
Just you and me,
Forever,
My eternity,
Just give me those words,
Tell me this is forever,
And make every moment,
Every second,
Every single time count,
Say I love you,
Tell me you want me always,
And that my darling,
Will slow it down,
Every single time,
As long as I a…

I'm Not Ready

I’m not ready,
Not ready to give up,
Not ready to give in,
Not ready to throw down that fight,
Not ready to just let go,
Not ready to forget,
Not ready to let you go,
I’m not ready,
Not ready to end this fight,
Not ready to go down that road,
Not ready to put the walls back up,
Not ready to put that barrier back,
Not ready to just pretend,
That I don’t love you,
Don’t care for you,
Don’t want you forever more,
I’m not ready,
I don’t want to go,
I don’t want to forget,
I want to keep it going,
I want to keep it yet,
I want to hold on tight,
I want to fight to the end,
I want to be with you always,
Always,
I’m not ready,
I just can’t,
I just won’t,
How can you stop?
How can you stop loving?
How can you stop being?
In love when you feel it?
When you live it?
When you know it?
When you dream it?
I’m not ready,
I just can’t do it,
I just can’t walk away,
It is hard,
It is rough,
It is something that’s in my soul,
But I know in my heart,
In my mind,
I’m not ready,
To stop loving you,
Wanting you,
Needing you,
Being with you,
Forever.

Writers

We write the words,
We put emotions onto paper,
We put the feelings onto the page,
We create the characters you love,
And the characters you love to hate,
We try to express,
We try to help you feel,
We try to give you something,
Something that is real,
Sometimes things that aren’t,
Sometimes dreams,
Sometimes wishes,
Sometimes hopes,
Sometimes a world to lose yourself in,
We pour our hearts,
Our souls,
Onto the pages,
The pages you read,
Once lovely just written by hand,
Now typed to be kept forever,
We love ourselves,
We hate ourselves,
We have our dark moments,
We have our bright moments,
We fight,
We scream,
At our imaginary friends,
The ones we create,
When we create different worlds,
We hurt when they do,
We love when they do,
We see what they see,
We believe what they believe,
We bleed,
We sweat,
We carry on through,
We make compromises,
We make war,
We make love,
We live,
We breathe,
Everything around us,
We are the writers,
We write the words,
The words you fall in love with,
The ones that bring you hope,
Help you see you…

You Filled A Hole

You filled a hole,
A hole that was in my heart,
A hole that was in my soul,
A hole that was in my mind,
A hole that seemed so deep,
So wide,
That I felt nothing could reach,
Reach inside,
Reach on deep,
Reach on through to fill it,
Be able to reach around the barriers,
Reach through the walls,
Find a way through,
A way that no one could,
A way that no one tried,
A way,
You filled a hole,
A hole that was in my heart,
In the depth of my soul,
In the very corners of my mind,
You completed me,
Found me,
Came to me,
Claimed me,
Called to me,
Said come on home,
Come home my dear,
I will love you,
I will be with you,
I will cuddle with you,
I will be there through everything,
I will complete you,
To the very depths,
Never giving up,
Never giving in,
Just there,
By your side,
Loving you always,
You came to me my darling,
Loving me,
Giving me faith,
Filling that hole,
Filling the darkness,
With your light,
With your love,
With everything that you are,
You filled me my darling,
With everything I could ask for,
And everything I couldn’t even…

What's Right

This emotion,
This feeling,
It is so right,
It is so wonderful,
It is so perfect,
It is so beautiful,
It is something that dreams are made of,
That wishes are wished for,
That hope is hoped for,
Love,
So simple,
So complex,
So everything,
So ever compressing,
So many words,
So many dreams,
Have been built on this,
Built on this one emotion,
This one feeling,
This one thing that can be so right,
That gets you through,
Through the hard times,
The good times,
The darkest moments,
The darkest days,
The lightest beauty,
Of the truest sky,
It is so right,
When it is toward someone,
Someone you can truly love,
Truly want to be with,
Truly want to cherish,
Hold onto,
Do anything for,
Love,
A word used so often,
A word used not enough,
A word that can give hope,
A word that can crush spirits,
A word that can change,
Everything in your life,
In your world,
In your dreams,
It is something so right,
So wonderful,
So beautiful,
So everlasting,
So forever,
When you find it,
Hold onto it,
Because when you find the right one,
The right hope,
The right…

I Want To Walk Through

I want to walk through,
Through that green grass,
Look above at the blue skies,
Hold you close,
As the fresh air surrounds us,
I want to feel the feeling,
The feeling that lovers do,
As they walk through life,
As they walk through emotions together,
As they walk through everything,
Holding,
Cuddling,
Kissing,
Everything in between,
I want to walk through,
Walk through that moment,
Walk through with happiness,
With love,
With grace,
With love on my face,
Without the mask,
Without the pain,
Without the hurt,
That lies within,
Save me now,
Save me here,
Just utter the words,
Make them crystal clear,
Make them so I feel them,
From the very depth of my soul,
Hold me,
Walk with me,
Through all these things,
No more holding back,
No more thinking about it,
No more wondering about it,
Just doing,
Just feeling,
Just being,
So walk with me my darling,
Walk with me together,
Hold me tight,
Don’t let go,
Let us be,
Forever,
Eternity,
No more questions,
No more ifs,
No more buts,
Just hold me,
Just be with me,
As we walk,
As we move,
Through this wo…

Yahoo Group Tutorial Part 5 Sage Advice And Conclusion

In this section I am going to go over some sage advice and concluding thoughts. One of the things I learned quickly with groups is to do everything in your power to keep your sanity and to not get stressed out about certain circumstances. No matter the size of your group having either another moderator and/or co owner will be very helpful to you especially if you get sick or have something happen. Depending on your group size you will want to extend the number. With this if you choose people you know you can trust, do not be afraid to give them the powers needed to help, and not just your basic inviting and approving spam powers you can always add more as you get to know someone longer.

Running groups themselves especially in the beginning can be a time consuming process this is another reason having other moderators and owners with a good amount of powers is useful. Another good thing is time management and if need to breaking down your groups on different days if you need to do …

Yahoo Group Tutorial Part 4 How Do I Do That

Now that you have created your group, customized it, and maybe poked through the features a bit now you are going to wonder exactly how to do certain things. One of the many issues I have come across from those newer to groups is if they set their members to be moderated when they join the group how to change that. This is actually a lot easier than most people would think. First, you go to the members portion go to the person you need to change and click edit membership once there you are able to actually not only where you can change the posting message settings but other things as well.

Here you can also change members to moderators and owners of the group. This is good for those that want to have more people to help them with either certain sections of the group or the group itself. Below this is where it has a posting messages and next to it will be an edit button that you can click to change their posting privileges, this is also good to use if you have a suspicion that so…

Yahoo Group Tutorial Part 3- Group Features

Group Features

Yahoo groups offer many various features to its members that you can restrict so that only certain people can use them or everyone can. Some of the important features yahoo groups’ offers are files, databases, links, polls, photos, calendar, and invite. Now, depending on your type of group some of these features you might use more than others. In this section I will break down each important main feature, what it does, how to use it, and how it is beneficial for you as well.

First, I will cover the files section of groups. This is one of my most used features that I use on all my groups because I make files for a lot of various things, everything from pending member forms, mod lists, and much more. If you are going to have a lot of variety of files I suggest making folders for the various things. Than once you have the folder set up you can add the file in two different ways. You can either add a file which will let you do it through word or any other word processi…

Yahoo Group Tutorial Part 2- Customizing Your Group

Customizing Your Group

Before you invite and advertise your group you will want to customize your group to make your group seem inviting and something people will want to join. First you will need to go to Management. It will be listed on the left side just scroll down as you see messages and other links to things that will be covered later on in the tutorial.

Once you have clicked on Management the first part you want to go to, is description and appearance, go to the left side on the top it will list Description and Appearance, Web Tools, Messages, and Membership. First we are going to click on the Description and Appearance. Once you have clicked on this you will notice that you can edit the description itself, the web address which is how people can find your group other than searching for it, category, colors, and photo. Most of the time you will want to leave the web address alone unless you want to see if you can get rid of underscores or changing the name of the group a l…

Life As An Asthmatic Part 8

Asthma without insurance frustrating to no end but asthma with insurance can be just as bad. Although I finally received insurance thanks to the state of Oregon getting Oregon Health Plan Standard and being able to finally see doctors although receiving more answers than I had in the past on things going on I still feel frustrated as I did a few months ago. I still have to deal with explaining to a certain degree why I am not working or a thousand of other questions that run through. I am not fully complaining really but it can still be frustrating but it is why I created this blog to begin with I wanted to put some light on asthma and the life of an asthmatic or at least mine.

Lately even right before I got my insurance I knew my asthma was going more downhill, I didn't need doctors to tell me that I felt it. I tried to keep positive and prayed as much as I could between that time and was grateful when the OHP went through I remember the last few days and counting down to th…

Lessons Learned

Never discount true love,
Never forget that there are many types of love,
Never forget that true friends
Are there for you no matter what,
And are your family too,
Never judge someone by the outside,
For that can always change,
And times are always changing,
See what they can be,
Who they can be,
Believe in something,
Believe in something bigger than yourself,
Than anything else around you,
Don’t take less than the best,
Believe that even through rough times,
There are good times as well,
That the tests,
The trails,
The tribulations,
Can only lead to something better,
More beautiful,
More true,
More amazing,
Even if it doesn’t seem like it at that time,
Never forget to show kindness,
You never what it can do,
Who it can touch,
How it can make someone feel,
Even a small smile,
A small brightness in the day,
A light that shines through,
Even through the hardest times,
We all need to learn these lessons,
Simple yet true,
Simple yet complex,
Simple yet so much more,
Even through dark times,
Even through those hard times,
Even…

What Has Really Happened

What has really happened?
What has been here?
What has gone on?
What am I doing sitting here?
How did this happen?
How did I get to this point?
How did I not realize?
See?
Feel?
Know before?
What has really happened?
How did I come to this?
How did the feelings I felt,
Turn and come to this?
I was so happy,
So obvious,
And now I am here,
I am at this place,
What really happened?
How could this be?
How could I have lost so much?
And not even see?
This should be a wonderful time,
This time of the year,
A time to believe again,
To hope again,
And yet I am standing here,
Standing here,
Wanting,
Wishing,
Hoping,
That you would see,
See what is going inside of me,
Stop not taking the opportunity,
Stop not telling me what I need,
Tell me the words,
The emotions,
The needs,
The wants,
I need to hear,
What has really happened?
What has gone on here?
I love you my darling,
This much is true,
But I need something in return,
I need something now,
I cannot handle this anymore,
I cannot handle feeling alone,
I cannot handle feeling I am the only…

Next Step

Not going to give up,
Not going to let in,
Going onto that next step,
That next step in life,
In love,
In dreams,
In peace,
In truth,
In being,
Got belief in that next step,
In that next portion of being,
In that next portion of hope,
In that next portion of life,
In that next portion of love,
I am not going to give up,
Not going to give in,
Not going to even stop,
Because I believe,
Because I love,
Because I know,
The hope,
The dreams,
The truth,
The knowing,
I love you,
I need you,
I want you forever,
I want to take that next step,
Be with you forever,
Be with you always,
Follow our dreams,
Watch for the stars,
Reach them,
Reach out to the sky,
Let’s take that next step,
No matter what is going on,
No matter what is in our way,
No matter,
No more excuses,
No more in the future,
Let’s just go,
Let’s just look into the world,
Look into the future,
And hold each other’s hand,
Hold each other close,
And go,
Go toward that next step,
Go toward the sun,
Go toward that future,
No more worries,
No more fears,
There is always going to be som…

Run Away

Come my darling,
Come to me now,
Fly with me,
Run with me,
Run away,
Take that moment,
Take that chance,
Just come,
Don’t think about it,
Don’t think about anything,
Just run,
Run away,
From all that restricts you,
From all that holds you back,
From everything that isn’t me,
Run away,
Run away my darling,
I need you so much,
Want you so much,
Love you so much,
Every portion,
Every part,
Every emotion,
It carries,
It screams,
It wants,
It needs,
This love,
This emotion,
This everything,
Run away,
Run away with me my darling,
Just grab my hand,
Hold on tight,
Don’t let go,
Love me,
Hold me,
Just be,
And run away,
Run away from everything,
Run away and come,
Come home to me.

Falling In Love

One day we met and you held me,
Two hearts became one,
Three days later and I knew,
Four kisses was all that it took,
Five moments in the rain,
Six dates later and there was love,
Seven was the month I met your family,
Eight months later was when life started to change,
And now I was left here wondering,
Where had you been all my life.

I Thought It Was Safe

For a friend.

I thought it was safe to love you,
I thought it was safe to care,
I thought it was safe,
To give myself,
To give myself to you,
To give myself fully,
To let down the walls,
Let down the barriers,
Let down everything around me,
To let you into my life,
Let you into my home,
Let you into the hearts of others,
The hearts of others I love even more,
I thought it was safe,
We had gone through so much,
So many hard times,
But you held my hand,
Said we were family,
Said we were in this together,
Through thick,
Through thin,
Through everything in between,
But now you have been gone for awhile,
Been gone,
Not returning my calls,
Not returning my texts,
I even came around,
But they said you were asleep,
And still nothing,
I try to be strong,
I try to not cry,
I try to just live,
Get through every day,
Get through every moment,
Get through,
Trying to figure out,
Trying to figure out what to do now,
Trying to figure out how to live,
Trying to figure,
Wanting desperately to know the answers,
Know the answers of everything,
E…

Tear Down The Walls

I want to tear it down,
Tear down the walls,
Tear down the barriers,
Make them all disappear,
Make them vanish without a sight,
Make them vanish without a fight,
Vanish make them gone,
Make them change from the night,
I want to tear it down,
Tear down everything that stands between us,
Tear down everything that is in our way,
Tear down everything that is stopping you,
Stopping you from just taking me,
Holding me,
Cuddling me,
Making me yours,
Marking me,
And never letting go,
I want to tear it down,
Break it down,
Make it not exist,
Make it not real anymore,
Make it in the past,
Put it there,
Make it go away,
Make it disappear,
I want to tear it down,
Tear down those walls,
Tear down those barriers,
Make them disappear,
Change it all,
Will you give me that ability?
Will you give me that strength?
Will you give it to me?
Will you change it?
Will you help me?
Or will you stand there?
Letting them stay?
Letting them stay,
Letting me down,
Letting me hurt more,
Letting it shallow me whole,
Letting me make that hard choice,
Making …

Agree With Me

If you say you love me,
I know I would agree with you,
If you say you wanted me,
I know that I would say it too,
If you say you needed me,
I would tell you how much I need you,
If you say you wanted to be with me forever,
I would listen to those words you sing,
Listen to those words,
Have them touch my heart,
Touch my soul,
Melt the ice,
And agree to be yours forever,
If you say all you wish for,
All you dream of,
All you need,
Is to be with me,
To hold me close,
To hold me in your arms,
To hold me forever,
To kiss me with passion,
To kiss me with every bit of love,
Every bit of joy,
Happiness,
Wonder,
Abound,
If you agree,
If you say those words,
Speak them straight,
Speak them from your heart,
Tell me those words,
Tell me those emotions,
Tell me every bit,
From the very depths of your soul,
I would agree,
Agree to love you,
Agree to cherish you,
Agree to hold you,
Agree to want to be with you,
Because I do love you,
I do cherish you,
I want to hold you every day,
Be with you every moment,
Be with you as much as I can,
Because…

Give Me Permission To Love You

Can I love you?
Can you care?
Can you give me this permission?
Can you give me this hope?
Can you give me this love?
Can you give me blue skies?
Can you give me everything?
Can I have your heart?
Can I have the key?
Can you give me that?
Don’t fight this feeling,
Don’t fight this,
Don’t push away,
Give me the permission,
Give me this simple thing,
Give me you,
I just want to be with you,
I just want to hold you close,
Give me this permission,
Don’t shut me out,
Don’t push me away,
Just hold me,
Just kiss me,
Just be with me,
We’ve been together now,
For quite some time,
Time to move on to the next stage,
Time to make that promise,
Give me that permission,
Give me forever,
So can you do that for me?
Can you give me your heart?
Give me that key?
Let down your guard,
Let down the walls,
Let me in,
Let me love you,
Be with you,
Hold you close,
I need this now,
I cannot keep waiting,
I have been patient,
I have been biding my time,
But darkness is around,
Darkness is around me,
And I want light again,
I want to feel the sun again,
I wa…

Cat

I want to pounce on you like a cat,
Lay on your lap,
Snuggle up with you,
Touching you,
Being with you,
Laying by your side,
I want to be a part of you,
I want the attention,
I want the love,
I want everything you can give me,
And everything I could get,
I want to pounce on you like a cat,
Lay on you like a blanket
Lays on your lap,
Keep you warm,
Keep you safe,
Follow you around,
All over the place,
I will be loyal,
As long as it is you and me,
And I will be your cat,
Be your best friend,
Be with you for all time,
I will be with you,
Holding onto you,
Snuggling with you,
Be your pal,
Through thick and thin.

Blame The Emotions

Blame the emotions,
Blame the feeling,
Blame everything that is a part of me,
I just cannot help it,
I just cannot control it,
I just don’t want to stop anymore,
I just want to feel,
I just want to see,
I just want to be you and me,
Blame the emotions,
Blame these feelings,
Blame the love I cannot contain,
Blame the dreams,
Blame the moments,
Blame the time I spend with you,
Even though it might be in real life,
Even though it might be over the phone,
Even though it might be online,
Every moment,
Every time,
I feel it,
I feel what you do,
I feel how it feels,
I feel it deep,
Deep inside of me,
Blame the emotions,
Blame it all,
I have tried so many times,
Tried to think of things a certain way,
But through it all,
Through every moment,
I have just drawn closer,
And closer to you,
Wanting to hold you so close,
Wanting to hold you in my arms,
Wanting to be with you,
So blame it on the emotions,
Blame it on this feeling,
Blame it on everything,
But I know you love me,
I know you love me too,
I know you want to be with me,
I know …

Turn The Page

I love you this much I know,
I want you this much I feel,
I need you this much I see in the depths of my soul,
I want to turn every moment,
Turn every page,
Turn every second,
Turn every minute,
Turn every hour,
Turn every day with you,
I want to close the doors to the past,
Turn away and hold you close,
Turn away and be with you,
You have known me for so long,
Known some of the deepest parts of me,
You love me without hesitation,
You care for me without thinking twice,
Even though you are miles away,
In another state,
In another place,
I know that your feelings for me are strong,
I know that you would hold me close,
You have been with me every step,
You have been with me every moment,
You have been with me through every relationship,
Through the last few years we have known each other online,
I’ve talked to you on the phone,
I have listened to your hopes,
And your dreams,
You have listened to mine,
Listened to every moment,
Through the good and bad,
I care for you,
I love you,
You have become one of my closest frien…

What's Wrong

What’s wrong with this picture?
What’s wrong with this thought?
This time?
This place?
What’s wrong with this?
What’s wrong between you and me?
What’s wrong with me?
What can I do?
What can I say?
How can I change it?
I don’t want it to keep going this way,
I don’t want this doubt,
I don’t want those emotions,
I don’t want to feel left out,
I don’t want to feel in the cold,
What’s wrong with this picture?
What’s wrong with this moment?
What’s wrong my darling?
How did this happen?
How did we end up here?
How did we get to this point?
How did I not see it before?
How did I not know this?
I believe it’s not too late,
I believe that we can still change this,
I believe we can turn it around,
But we need to take a moment,
We need to take some time,
We need to work on this,
Something needs to change,
I need to be able to feel it,
Feel love,
Hope,
Dreams,
Beauty,
And everything in between,
I need a change,
I need something,
I have been patient,
I have been willing,
I have been listening,
Now it is your turn,
Time to show me your lov…

Lost And Found

I feel so lost,
I feel so confused,
Thoughts,
Emotions,
Memories,
They all wash over me through and through,
I want to know love,
I want to know peace,
I want to know that joy,
The joy I have known before,
I stand at a crossroads,
Never thought it be like this,
Never pictured my life to become this,
I have gone through my moments,
I have had my hard times,
I have had times where it seemed dark and gray,
But I still had hope,
I still had belief,
I still had a peace that couldn’t be touched,
Even when I felt broken hearted before,
But this is different,
This tune doesn’t seem the same,
It seemed so much easier,
Even months ago,
Even with the other issues going on,
Than all the sudden,
The happiness was gone,
And I was left wondering,
What was wrong?
What has happened?
To what I thought was a perfect thing,
Realizing that I had been in the dark,
And now I am lost,
I am lost,
And at a crossroads,
Wanting,
Wishing,
Needing,
Something more,
Wanting a simple I love you,
Wanting a simple emotion,
A simple care,
Just something to show…