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Showing posts from December 30, 2010

An Asthmatics View On Asthma

Try to breathe,
Inhale,
Exhale,
It isn’t that difficult right?
Try to not cough too much,
Take the inhaler,
Make tea,
Check,
Check,
Chest hurts,
Hands trembling,
Feeling tired,
Feeling not tired,
Please no migraine,
Not this time,
Pain is enough,
Please no dizziness,
That is never fun,
Just sit,
Just sit,
Hold on,
Not the first time,
Not going to be the last,
Tea is still too hot,
Drink slowly,
Just keep the breathing,
Inhale,
Exhale,
Might not seem hard to most,
But for an asthmatic,
For someone who is struggling,
It can be the hardest thing in the world,
Medications can only do so much,
Even if you are on what you need,
Pain,
Pain,
More chest pain,
Use to it by now,
Just work through it,
Got to keep writing,
Keep the words going,
Just focus on anything else,
Anything else but the pain,
Remember the difficulty of working,
When one like this happened,
The way minutes seemed to be slow,
Like if it was just mere seconds,
That everything seems crazy,
And your mind wonders,
Because you cannot focus,
Focus on anything,
Inhale,
Exhale,
Breath…

Cannot Feel

Cannot feel,
Cannot sense,
Cannot be real,
This has to be a dream,
This cannot be reality,
This has to be some sort of dark fantasy,
You cannot be gone,
This has to be a nightmare,
This cannot be,
Cannot feel,
Cannot get my senses,
Cannot even cry,
Emotions deep,
Emotions drain,
Emotions,
Can I even feel them?
Can I even sense them?
Can I even see my own heart?
Can I find a way to even process?
Can I find a way to even see?
Keep myself busy,
Keep myself thinking,
Keep myself doing anything,
No matter what I do,
Who I talk to,
I just cannot feel,
Cannot feel,
Cannot sense,
Did I lose it?
Lose my heart?
Lose my emotions?
Lose it all?
All I feel is numb,
Numb where I cannot cry,
Cannot get past,
Cannot even begin,
Begin to try,
Begin to feel,
What am I going to do?
What is going to happen?
What is going to come?
All I want is to feel,
Even if it is the pain,
Even if it is the rain,
Just something,
Anything,
Anything than this,
This numb,
This lack of feeling,
That lies deep within my heart,
Deep within my soul,
Can I let go?
Can I let go?