Two New Poems

If I Only Had Tomorrow, I Would...

If I only had tomorrow, I would marry you today,
I would be your wife even if it was for one day,
I would hold you closer than I ever held you before,
I would kiss you more tenderly than I ever had before,
I would make love to you all day and night,
I would look at the stars and dream with you
Until that morning light,
And than if the world was to waste away,
I know that I was loved and happy
Even for just one more day.
If I only had tomorrow, I would wish for more days,
More hours,
More minutes,
More of everything I could get,
More of everything I could want,
Just to be there with you
Until the end of the world and time,
More than just tomorrow.
If I only had tomorrow, I would stop wasting today,
I would do everything I could,
All the simple and complex,
Because at the end of everything,
I would hope you knew and felt,
That I love you deeply and that you mean
So much in my life,
In my heart,
In my world.
If I only had tomorrow, I would stop time,
To relive today over and over
Because I wouldn’t want the time we have
To end ever or for us to part.
If I only had tomorrow, I would do anything today
Just to show you how much I love you
And how much I want to stay with you always
Even if it was just for one more day.

Dedicated to David Shorb

Disclaimer: I was a bit cautious on wanting to post this. I knew what I wantedto write about for Paul's 5th challenge. I hope you guys still think the same of me after this.

My Hardest Decision

When I was with you the first time,
I was still young and didn’t know much about love,
About life,
About what can happen between two people,
About the choices we sometimes are forced to make,
And how it can tear people apart,
And how it can hurt even years after it has been done,
And how sometimes I still find the tears
And how I am still protective of who knows.
I was only eighteen would have been nineteen
If I went through with the other choice,
I remember the tears that I cried,
The pain that I felt,
The thinking that I had failed so terribly
Thinking I would never do what my mom
And other women had done in the past,
Not that I didn’t believe in it,
It was just something I never expected
Would happen to me as well.
I remember looking deep in your eyes,
The pain and sadness that I felt,
Knowing that you would be happy
About what had happened,
And knowing I was probably destroying
Everything within you and me,
By deciding to do what I was to do.
I tried to tell you it wasn’t you,
I just didn’t felt ready,
I knew that I loved you,
And wanted to be with you until the end,
But I wasn’t ready for two to become three.
I know that we have talked so much about it now,
And that we have worked everything out
Including all the emotions that was tied to that decision,
But know dear that I love you,
And it wasn’t anything against you,
It wasn’t easy for me to decide
That I couldn’t have your baby at that time.
I still live with it today,
It still scares me deep in the night,
I use to have nightmares and dreams,
But I am hoping everything will turn out right,
Because the next time I get pregnant
I am going to keep it this time,
And maybe someday
I will be more comfortable with what
I felt that I had to do
And I can say,
I made a hard choice that day,
I decided to have an abortion,
And I excised my right to choose
And although it pained me for several years,
I still believe that every women has the right
To choose when and when not to have children.
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