I Can't Admit

This is one of the hardest poems for me to post this is dedicated to my ex husband.

I can't admit that I still love you,
I can't admit that I still miss you,
I can't admit these things out loud,
I keep them to myself,
I keep them hidden deep in my mind,
I keep them hidden deep in my soul,
I keep the pain hidden where you cannot see,
I put on a mask so no one notices,
I can't admit these things it would show me weak,
Instead of the pretend strength I put up everyday,
I can't admit these things not even to myself,
Because than I will remember those good times
Instead of the bad ones,
Than I will remember the love instead of the pain,
Than I will forget why I need to be away from you,
To forget the things I need to remember,
I can't admit that it hurts that you are not here,
That you were not here when my grandma passed,
That you were not here to hold me in your arms,
That you were not here to kiss me,
That you were not here,
I can't admit these things to anyone,
I can't admit these feelings,
Because than I would have to deal with them truly,
And I don't know if I could handle than,
And I don't know if I could handle the tears,
And I don't know if I could truly handle the full pain,
And I don't know if I could not fully just fall apart,
So I can't admit these things,
Not out loud than I might just feel the things,
I am not ready to feel.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Build Upon That Emotion

Build upon that emotion, Build upon that dream, Build upon that hope, Come on honey, Come on darling, Let’s not stop here, Let’s not stop now, Let’s not stop this moment, I want to keep on building, I want to keep on expanding, I want to keep it going, Never ending, Never stopping, Only growing, Only expanding, Only stacking as time goes on, This is the moment, This is the time, This is the day, To change everything, To change everything around us, To change what you and I are, To change what we are to each other, To change it now, To change it forever, Just with a few words, Just build upon that emotion, Build upon that dream, Build upon that hope, Build upon that love, Build it my darling, Let us not stop, Let us not lose sight, Let us find our way, Let us find our way together, Let us build it now my darling, Let us build it now, Build that emotion, Build that dream, Build that hope, Build that love, Build it, Build through the good times, Build through the hard times, Build through
Read more

I'm Your Girl

I’m your girl not because Of how sexy you are, Not because you pay my way With my money being tight, But because when you hold me I feel the world melt away, I feel the dimples show Because I cannot stop smiling, But because when you hold my hand, And you kiss me softly, I feel love and passion, Dreams and realty, Hope and bliss, I’m your girl not because of how You open the door for me, Not because of anything material, But because of every non material thing, Your kindness, Your sweetness, Your smile, Your voice, Your eyes, The way I glow, The way I smile, The way I feel beautiful Being around you, Feeling the wonder that is us, I’m your girl And was the moment I held you, The moment I looked into your eyes, The moment you kissed me, I knew than and I know now, That I’m your girl.
Read more

There Are Those Moments

There are those moments, Those moments that seems to last forever, The type that stretches across, Across through one light to the next, From one dream to another, Making everything feel surreal, As you stand, As you feel, As you close your eyes, As if to try to feel, The moment from this one, And the moment before, As everything falls into place, In that moment, That moment that seemed so fuzzy, Yet so true and clear, There are those moments, Those moments that is etched into the very depth, Very depth of your being, Where you feel them at the harder times, Where you feel them at your most difficult times, Where you feel them as if to say, Just keep on holding on, Just keep on going, This is not the end yet, There is still another moment to be had, There is still another life that needs, Needs those words, Need that moment, You feel inside of your heart, And of your soul, There are those moments, The moments where you feel, That you truly cannot go on,
Read more