Relationships

Relationships are one of the hardest things we as people really go through. So many of us go through so much heartache and so many bad times. Some people get hurt once and give up and become a cynic. Some of us go through many bad times and decide enough is enough and become that cynic. Some of go through literal hell it seems and somehow someway find a way to keep going. Those of us that do that I tell you we deserve good things because we put through everything and somehow still don't give up.

I am one of those people. I have gone through some hard times at my age. Everything from abusive type relationships, to players, to having to deal with a divorce, and gods knows what else. Yet, somehow I keep going. Although I have felt like giving up myself trust me it isn't always easy being someone like me! There are times even I wonder how I keep going when there are times that I just want to forget it all and just give up.

But I guess maybe part of it is that I keep telling others you cannot give up you got to keep going. Hurt happens rather we go slow or fast in a relationship. No matter if you known someone a day, days, a week, weeks, a month, months, a year, years, or forever it seems. There will be some that won't mean to hurt you but hurt you and you have to forgive them you are just not the one for you. There are some that will hurt you just to hurt you and you still got to forgive them and move on. And than there is one that will take you by your hand and show you the world and than some as long as you give them a chance.

I guess another part of me that keeps it going despite the crap is that I really do believe in love, true love to be exact. I believe that despite all I have gone through that it is out there and all I have to do is find it and have it find me. Who that is I honestly don't know. I have known some good people who I love deeply still even if I am not with them romanticly, I have known some decent people who gave me good lessons in life or really kept me hoping again even if they are no longer in my life, I have known people that really weren't great and seemed to be nothing but hurt and heartache.

But through it all I am still here and I am still standing here. Still looking. Still hoping. Still wanting what I want. People say be single for awhile you are still young. Maybe that is good for some but that's not what I want. I know exactly what I want in life and I know that the only way to find it is to keep trying. Yes, I might hurt a little still from past relationships or past possible relationships. But, I decided when I got divorced and after dealing with some things after that, that I cannot let things pass me by. I cannot wonder what if or at least as much as possible. I just got to keep going it's what I know best.

I lived my whole life at times wondering what if I had done certain things when I was younger. I have dealt with many hard times with my mom and having a single parent. I am still to this day very grateful that I have such a great mom because some don't get so blessed to have a parent they really can get along with. Can talk to, feel comfortable with, be open with and not be afriad to tell them things. My mom and I have had that relationship even when I was a teenager and I am very grateful for that.

Maybe I am crazy to do some of the things I do. But I am focused and determined. I won't let a few bumps in the road keep me from going. I won't let a few bumps stop me from what I want. I will not let age get in the way of finding what I want. I won't let heartache get in my way of finding what I need. I won't let time pass me by without believing, hoping, dreaming, and knowing that something good is out there.

So, for any of you that have been burnt, or are afraid of even trying. Take it from me. Someone that has gone through many possible things including a father that never really cared for me. If I can keep going. If I can keep believing so can you. Don't let life and love pass you by. Things might be hard. Sometimes you will go through heartaches so hard that you never know if you can love again trust me I've been there. I might be young still in age but I am wise in this.

Love can be out there for you. Love can be out there for anyone if you hold on tight and keep believing. No matter what you go through there is better. No matter what burns you go through if you give it a chance it might just surprise you. It might just give you the best things you could have ever wished for and more. You just got to believe and keep going.

So, go out there. Keep going. Don't let anything stop you because by believing, by hoping, by dreaming you are winning. By giving up, by tossing it all away, by saying fuck this you let them win. Don't let those people win. Sometimes you have to go through the bad to really appreciate the good. Sometimes you have to have that experience to learn something you really need to know in life. Sometimes you have to be rained on a few times to appreciate the sun. Sometimes you have to be that experience for someone else that needs it and you aren't meant to be for whatever reason.

But, don't let those things keep you down. Keep on going. You will find the way. You just got to keep going. You will find that dream. You will find your meant to be as long as you keep believing.
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