It Isn’t Fair

I know that you are no longer hurting,

I know that you are truly at peace,

I know that God has you in His hands,

But still I feel sad and hurt,

And still I feel like I am holding back the tears,

I try to keep strong for your mom,

And for those others,

But I feel my heart break a bit,

Just thinking about you,

It isn’t fair I think,

To lose you in this way,

To lose you to the suffering of some evil disease,

To lose your smile,

To lose the laughter that you would always bring,

And how you could make anyone your friend,

How bright your testimony was,

Even brighter now that I understand it more,

And I myself came to be a child of God,

I didn’t always understand your ways,

Back in the days of when we first met,

I didn’t always understand the hope and peace,

That you always excluded in every single conversation,

I don’t know how I would have done it,

Made the way to see you face to face,

See this person that seemed to have a heart of gold,

To the person that could make anyone laugh,

To the person that cared so much for others,

To the person that meant a lot to me,

Even during the times we didn’t talk as much,

Or had so much to catch up on,

There were many times in between I must say,

You were still a focal part of my life,

You were my brother,

You were my friend,

You were someone I could count on,

You were someone I knew without a doubt,

Would be there through everything,

You saw me change and grow,

And you never once backed away,

It just isn’t fair,

I know that you are now safe and sound,

There is no more pain or sickness,

But there’s a part of me,

That wants to be selfish,

Because I wanted to finally meet you,

Give you the biggest hug I could manage,

To chat up a storm about anything,

Face to face,

I would have introduced you to my world,

To my family,

My husband,

And my other friends,

They would have loved you as I have,

Loved the way you just were,

The natural ease that you always seem to have,

You always had a smile and a laugh,

But now you are gone,

And it cannot happen now,

I know I will see you in Heaven,

But I want you back,

To just talk to you again,

To be able to speak to you,

To just hear that laughter again,

To hear that smile in your voice,

I am going to miss you,

These emotions I know,

I am always going to remember,

And keep you in my heart,

Until the day comes,

And I finally get to see you,

And give you that hug,

And to see that smile,

And to know that it is no longer unfair,

Because there you will be in front of me,

But until than I will miss you,

And put a memory of you in me,

For the rest of my days.