Fear of Letting Others In

What they don’t know can’t hurt them,

What they don’t see can’t harm them,

What they don’t realize can’t shake them,

What they don’t know about me can’t change them,

Outgoing personality on the outside,

Inside my voice seems to be screaming to come out,

I keep on smiling because it is what I know,

I keep on pretending everything is just fine,

There are a dozen things going through my mind,

But will they still accept me if they knew them?

I keep on trying to take leaps of faith,

But it is so hard sometimes,

To overcome things of your life,

I pretend that I am fine,

That I don’t need what I need,

I just keep smiling anyway,

Because my fear of letting people in,

My fear of letting others inside my world,

Of really talking about what is in my heart,

And on the depth of my soul,

Many different thoughts,

Many different reasons,

Many different times I want to scream,

But instead I keep on hiding,

What they don’t know can’t hurt them,

What they can’t see can’t harm them,

What they don’t realize can’t shake them,

They don’t have to really know,

As I lie to myself again,

Wishing for close friends,

There are many that are close,

But do they truly fully know me?

Do they know everything I have hide?

The past of this life has been filled with difficulties,

The challenges were many,

The depths of the road walked,

But it is so hard to let someone in,

I have lost all of those I have been close to,

With the exception of my husband,

Outgoing on the outside,

Introverted in my mind,

And even with my love it can still be hard,

To let someone truly in,

I am trying every day and every way I can,

But it is still there,

Nagging in the corners of my mind,

This fear of letting others in,

The way I have before in the past,

And I just don’t know how to fully unchain,

Those emotions and those feelings,

And to rid of those emotions,

In the depths of my mind.